Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Weirdness and More Weirdness

Do you ever stand around and just listen to other people's conversations and think, "really?" It happens to me all of the time.

Lindsey and I walked up to Quizno's to grab a bit-o-nourishment today. Before I dive in, let me give you a couple of random updates. First, it was cold. Like Well Digger's Butt cold. I personally have never touched a Well Digger's Butt, but according to my dad's catch phrase dictionary, they are pretty freakin' cold. Lindsey popped her collar up Elvis style and instead of looking ridiculous, she looked uber cute. I, quite to the contrary, just looked cold. I considered turning back COLD, but I didn't want to seem like a quitter and Lindsey was keeping me entertained as she is SUPER funny. Anyhow, I thought I might die, but we made it. On the walk back Lindsey talked about how she needed a hat. I quietly thought, yeah, a hat would be nice. I have a hat, but it is at home on my kitchen table. I swear to you, my bones were hurting. I sit down at my desk and realize that my coat has a hood. WHAT THE WHAT? Really? I just about froze my ears off and the whole time there was a hood piled up on my back. Gesh, I really do get dumber every day.

Any who, back to the point. While Lindsey was getting our Free drinks (thanks the to Coupons4Winston website), I was paying. When I walked over to where Lindsey was I noticed she was being really still. You know the still, like I see a snake or a bear or maybe a roach, but I don't want to acknowledge it, still. Of course, I start talking to her and she gives me the shut the freak up gritted teeth stare. It is then that I tune in to the conversation going on behind us. This guy is talking about finding Jesus in a meteor storm in the dark on a concrete basketball court. Now look, I have no problem with finding Jesus, but this guy was telling a story that made me feel like any old second he was going to offer me a cup of Kool-Aid, and I was not interested at all. Lindsey, on the other hand, was transfixed which got me totally tickled. Had I lost it and started giggling, I am pretty sure this dude would have pulled a snake out of his pocket and tried to heal me. You really had to be there, but dang it was funny, and for once it was awesome to have a witness along. Generally this strange crap only happens when I have not a witness one.

On a related, but different note, I have really started noticing signs more and more. All through Christmas the Aunt Beas in Pilot had this sign up:
Christmas Ham Plate

I can't even count the number of times that Greg and I said "Merry Christmas Ham Plate" during the holidays. I hope it was also Happy for Ham Plate and his/her family. It also said Merry Christmas Chicken Biscuit for a hot minute. It didn't have the same ring!

That's two rounds of weirdness, but I have one more. Today at lunch my boss' boss was walking around asking if anyone had a can opener. Good old Super Dave knew where one was. The next thing I see is Peter (boss' boss) on his way to the kitchen, open can in hand. The suspense was killing me, so I say, "whatcha eatin?" To which he replies, "green beans". Really, you are eating a can of Lowe's Foods brand green beans for lunch? Is it just me or is that totally random. This man stands out in the freezing cold to smoke, and this is his lunch? Wow!


  1. Two more days 'til Happy Friday Ham Plate!!

  2. Good Morning Chicken Nugget!

    I saw him walking around with a Lowes Food can and I was wondering what was in it!

  3. This is my FAR my favorite blog post. I am giggling in my cube and feel famous. Thanks

    - DB