Saturday, January 30, 2010

Warm and Toasty

I hope you are warm and toasty. I am loving being snowed in!

Friday, January 29, 2010

How I've Missed Thee Blog

Things I have considered blogging about while I have been away (an abbreviated look in to each topic):
  1. Pharmaceutical Commercials - Do you get sick of these? Shouldn't your doctor be recommending drugs not your commercial break? Does every drug cause diarreah, excessive erections, and death? Seems that way to me.
  2. Haiti - How can some idiot think that this is God's revenge on the only country every founded by slaves. I agree that we should "take care of our own", but to have hate in your heart for a country rocked by such horrible loss makes you insane, insensitive, inconsiderate, and just plain off your rocker.
  3. Inconsiderate People - There is a couple at my daycare that really thinks they are just plain precious. They are both adorable. They remind me of plastic people. I cannot tell you how inconsiderate they are. I come to pick up Avery and they are standing in front of the door, at the reception desk, you name it. They act like they are the only people in the universe. They are your typical rich villains. Here's the thing, everyone wants to pick their kid up, not just you. So move your rich, snobby, white rumps out of the front of the freakin' door already. Gesh!
  4. Gymboree - So Gymboree sucks me in with coupons, cute clothes, and Gym Bucks. Gym Bucks are a "future" discount on a predefined time frame. I had $25 in Gym Bucks. I drove Avery all the way to Winston on a Saturday and I couldn't find $50 worth of things to buy to use my $25 in Gym Bucks. It sucked. Plus, Gymboree is full of the aformentioned White, Entitled, Snobs. Gymboree, you are dead to me!
  5. Target - What's up Target. You advertise this incredible deal on the Wii Fit which I have promised my dad for his birthday and then you don't have it, and I can't get a rain check? Not nice Target. Not nice. Watch you don't make the "Dead to Me List". Jimmy John's and Gymboree are getting mighty lonely.
  6. Something The President said - Equal pay for equal work. What a theory. I hope this is a ball he can run with! I would like to be able to afford a stay at home husband.
  7. The movie Valentine's Day - What a cast! I want to see it. I won't, but I want to.
  8. Vomit - I am pretty sure Greg and I had the Noro Virus. It sucked. We puked. We puked a lot. It hurt. Chewed food should not come out your nose. EVER!
  9. Time - There is never enough and it moves too fast. Avery is almost 1. What the what?
  10. Excitement - Ginger and Christopher bought a new house, and I haven't even had a chance to chat with Ginger about it. I am so tickled for them, but I am sure she has no idea. I have been so swamped that I have not communicated this emotion at all.
  11. Hand Me Downs - I went through the Avery had me down boxes and my little guy is rocking a whole new wardrobe. I love me some hand-me-downs.
  12. Babies'r us - I need a coupon. If anyone sees one before Valentine's Day please share. I am hoping for a 20% off one!
  13. Moe's - I love Moe's. Moe's is my most favorite burrito joint. Welcome to Moe's indeed! I will eat Q'Doba or Chipolte, but I love Moe's!
  14. Haircut - My haircut is so overdue and I want to try and look more presentable. I must schedule a haircut soon.
  15. Lindsey - Lindsey Y. is one of the funniest, most unique people, I have ever met in my life. On a daily basis Lindsey makes one of two things happen: snot comes out of my nose accidentally because I am laughing so hard, or I pee my pants a little because I see her before I make it to the bathroom and she says something hysterical.
  16. Bathroom Etiquette - There is a lady at my work who doesn't wash her hands after she uses the bathroom. This amazes me. Yuck freak! Yuck! While we are on this subject, if you need to blow up the bathroom in the middle of the day, please go to another floor. That's what I do!
  17. I've missed you blog. Life really is full of things to blog about.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Weirdness and More Weirdness

Do you ever stand around and just listen to other people's conversations and think, "really?" It happens to me all of the time.

Lindsey and I walked up to Quizno's to grab a bit-o-nourishment today. Before I dive in, let me give you a couple of random updates. First, it was cold. Like Well Digger's Butt cold. I personally have never touched a Well Digger's Butt, but according to my dad's catch phrase dictionary, they are pretty freakin' cold. Lindsey popped her collar up Elvis style and instead of looking ridiculous, she looked uber cute. I, quite to the contrary, just looked cold. I considered turning back COLD, but I didn't want to seem like a quitter and Lindsey was keeping me entertained as she is SUPER funny. Anyhow, I thought I might die, but we made it. On the walk back Lindsey talked about how she needed a hat. I quietly thought, yeah, a hat would be nice. I have a hat, but it is at home on my kitchen table. I swear to you, my bones were hurting. I sit down at my desk and realize that my coat has a hood. WHAT THE WHAT? Really? I just about froze my ears off and the whole time there was a hood piled up on my back. Gesh, I really do get dumber every day.

Any who, back to the point. While Lindsey was getting our Free drinks (thanks the to Coupons4Winston website), I was paying. When I walked over to where Lindsey was I noticed she was being really still. You know the still, like I see a snake or a bear or maybe a roach, but I don't want to acknowledge it, still. Of course, I start talking to her and she gives me the shut the freak up gritted teeth stare. It is then that I tune in to the conversation going on behind us. This guy is talking about finding Jesus in a meteor storm in the dark on a concrete basketball court. Now look, I have no problem with finding Jesus, but this guy was telling a story that made me feel like any old second he was going to offer me a cup of Kool-Aid, and I was not interested at all. Lindsey, on the other hand, was transfixed which got me totally tickled. Had I lost it and started giggling, I am pretty sure this dude would have pulled a snake out of his pocket and tried to heal me. You really had to be there, but dang it was funny, and for once it was awesome to have a witness along. Generally this strange crap only happens when I have not a witness one.

On a related, but different note, I have really started noticing signs more and more. All through Christmas the Aunt Beas in Pilot had this sign up:
Christmas Ham Plate

I can't even count the number of times that Greg and I said "Merry Christmas Ham Plate" during the holidays. I hope it was also Happy for Ham Plate and his/her family. It also said Merry Christmas Chicken Biscuit for a hot minute. It didn't have the same ring!

That's two rounds of weirdness, but I have one more. Today at lunch my boss' boss was walking around asking if anyone had a can opener. Good old Super Dave knew where one was. The next thing I see is Peter (boss' boss) on his way to the kitchen, open can in hand. The suspense was killing me, so I say, "whatcha eatin?" To which he replies, "green beans". Really, you are eating a can of Lowe's Foods brand green beans for lunch? Is it just me or is that totally random. This man stands out in the freezing cold to smoke, and this is his lunch? Wow!