Tired

I am so tired. Being a mom and a full time employee is no fun. I won't pretend to like it. I don't like it. I long to stay at home with Avery and sing songs every day. I would love to come and meet Greggie for lunch occasionally or bring him a picnic basket. I want to be June Cleaver. I want to always look neat, pressed, and ready.

Instead I am tired, haggard, and behind. All of the time! I give myself 15 minutes a night to look at the computer. I can't even get ahead enough to look at work.

If I could stay at home I would be the happiest girl alive, but I cannot. So tomorrow I will get up and start the whole mess over again. It makes me so sad that other people are raising Avery.

I sure wish I would have know I would feel this way before he came along. I would have planned better. To the girls who can't imagine staying at home, good for you. Don't judge me for longing for nothing more than to have my family be my full time job. I am not judging you for your professional ambition. In fact, I am jealous of it. If I were more professionally motivated maybe it would feel less like my heart was about to leap out of my chest every morning when I leave Avery to go to WORK!




Avery kissing his buddy bear