Monday, December 10, 2012

Did That Really Just Happen?

So today at 4:45 I got off of a call and thought to myself, "self, run to the post office quickly and mail your Christmas cards."  Yep, I said Christmas, not holiday.  So, I head down to the post office.  The line is pretty intense, but I wait it out.  I ask how much it costs to mail a square card.  Twenty cents extra.  Not to self, never order square cards again.  Ok.  Note taken.

Billy D. Williams' twin (really, the dude looked just like Lando Calrissian) was checking me out.

Courtesy of my awesome friend, David Hill!!

He seemed nice enough, but not quite thrilled to be there.  I told him I needed 26, 20 cent stamps and  51, 45 cent stamps.  My total was $68.41.  That seemed excessive, but I didn't want to hold up the line and I already felt plenty unwelcome there.  Plus my math skills were all off with this 20 cent per card variance.  Square cards are clearly of the devil.

So, I pay with my debit card, rush out to apply all of those stamps, miss the darn mail pickup, but I keep placing stamps.  I saw the lady driving the truck go back to get the mail.  She had knocked on the door as I was hastily sticking stamps.  My thought was that I would grab the lady on her way to the mail truck and ask her very, very nicely if she would put my cards on the truck.  As I was standing there I glanced at my receipt.  I had been charged for 226, 20 cent stamps instead of 26.  Really?  Well, at this point, the gate is down and I can hear the now very chipper staff cracking up and bantering behind the curtain.  So I knocked on the door where I had just seen the lady picking up the mail knock.  Then I hear the staff laughing about somebody knocking on the door and how they just need to come back tomorrow.  Hahaha, hehehehe, cackle, cackle, cackle.  So I knock again.  More laughter, more smart remarks.  Now I knock on the glass and say, "yes, I just checked out and I was GROSSLY overcharged".  Bear in mind, I am having to YELL since they are on the other side of glass and a metal roll down door.  The man who checked me out, you remember, Billy D. Williams (even though he is a sexy beast I am not impressed at this point), yells, just calm down.  To which I reply, "I am calm, but I am having to yell through this window because you won't open the door!".  He opens the door.

Our conversation follows:
BDW: ok, how were you "grossly" overcharged?
ME:  well, I bought 26, 20 cent stamps but you charged me for 226.
BDW:  let me see your receipt.
ME:  sure
BDW: hmmm, i sure did.
ME: yep, and I didn't want to wait until tomorrow and have to prove my case.  i figured it best if we fix this tonight.
BDW:  give me your debit card
ME:  sure

About 2 minutes later BDW comes out.
BDW:  ummm, since you had paid with your debit card I am gonna have to give you a money order.
me:  say what now?  what do i do with a money order.  I am sorry, I am not super familiar with money orders.
BDW: (in his most sarcastic voice) I will cash it for you.
me:  well why didn't you say so?
BDW: come back here and have a seat, this is gonna take a while.
me: ok
BDW:  i need you to complete this paper work
me: (only in my head) are you effing kidding me?
BDW: use that pen over there.
me:  (i have no more words at this point)
BDW: I'll be right back
me:  (still speechless)

I start the paperwork.  He told me to put my name and address.  I go ahead and sign too.  Seems important right?  I did not date it.  This did not please BDW.  He scolds me but writes the date himself with a proper amount of indignant disgust.

About 5 minutes later BDW brings out a money order for me to sign.  I sign it.  The mail lady has been pacing around so I recommend she makes herself useful and gets my 51 cards out of the bin and puts them on the truck.  I really doubt any of you will actually get Christmas cards this year.  I was pretty frustrated at this point.  That is really no excuse for my grumpiness.  This poor woman had wronged me in no way.

BDW now comes out with the $45 and decides to make fun of me for "yelling that I had been grossly overcharged".  Really BDW?  Really?? You who rings up stamps all darn day long thinks giving me crap is funny.  Why didn't you think it was too much?  I explain again, that I had no interest in coming back, standing in that line, and making my case, which I am pretty sure no one would believe. He pretty much ignores me.

Have I mentioned that BDW, while a sexy beast, moved like a snail.  This guy made Greg Linkous look like flash.

I have shortened this story and left out a ton of cuss words.  I don't think I actually said any out loud, but I thought a ton of them.  Was I a grump?  Probably.  Was I within my rights?  Darn right!  Am I sorry for standing up for myself?  NO!  Will I go back to that post office anytime soon?  No!  Am I surprised that the post office is in so much trouble?  NO!!!

In case you ever wondered what it looks like back there, it was pretty interesting and incredibly retro.  There was a big wooden box with drawers for boxes that were closed.  Everything was hand written.  It was like walking back in time.

Why does this crap only happen to me?


  1. While this blog post is funny, hearing it in person 5 minutes after said incident was HILARIOUS!!! : ) I have to go there today, wish me luck!