No, You Are Mistaken, This Girl Is Your Twin!

Today was Leslie's Care/Love Shower. It ended up not being a surprise because someone forwarded her the invite. I won't dwell on this fact, but I was pretty tore up.

Everyone did such an incredible job. Allison made these awesome pom poms that were hanging from the ceiling, a huge fruit salad, bracelets, brought balloons, centerpieces, and pink ribbons. She also worked her butt off getting ready and cleaning up.

I snapped this shot of her and baby girl, and I have to say, I heart it. Look at those bangs. Identical!!

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,
I have missed you. I feel less witty and likable without you. I would like to invite you back in to my life. Once I complete the 85 loads of laundry, and vacuum my floors I hope to invite you back in to my world.

I would like to tell you about:

1. My sweet Leslie, so you can think about her and offer her your love and support.
2. The B-eautiful Elmo picture Ginger's mom painted to commemorate Avery's First Birthday.
3. Avery's upcoming Tube "surgery". Surgery sounds so serious, but I have been assured it is not. I am still very afraid. It is on the 15th.
   
4. My disdain for Tiki Barber. BTW, Tiger says thanks Tiki. At least his wife wasn't pregnant with twins, and he can "blame" his illness. Between you and Jesse James, Tiger Woods is a regular Casanova. I saw Tiki on Sesame Street. He was learning about the word quest. He was on a quest to learn about quest. It was so clever. Greg said Tiki must have been on a quest for something else. Something staring with the letter "P" perhaps. Grover, can you please explain this to Tiki in terms he might understand.
5. Jesse James, really? You are sleeping beside of Sandra Bullock every night, and you take comfort in the arms of a tatted up HO! Don't get me wrong, I never thought the guy with the "get paid" tatoo in the palm of his hand was a boy scout, but you cheated on the girl next door. Way to go IDIOT. New rule, if your wife is adored by millions, sick with cancer, or pregant, try to keep "little willie" in your pants. We are sick of you cheaters!

I shant over do it. Baby steps!

Warm and Toasty

I hope you are warm and toasty. I am loving being snowed in!

How I've Missed Thee Blog

Things I have considered blogging about while I have been away (an abbreviated look in to each topic):

1. Pharmaceutical Commercials - Do you get sick of these? Shouldn't your doctor be recommending drugs not your commercial break? Does every drug cause diarreah, excessive erections, and death? Seems that way to me.
2. Haiti - How can some idiot think that this is God's revenge on the only country every founded by slaves. I agree that we should "take care of our own", but to have hate in your heart for a country rocked by such horrible loss makes you insane, insensitive, inconsiderate, and just plain off your rocker.
3. Inconsiderate People - There is a couple at my daycare that really thinks they are just plain precious. They are both adorable. They remind me of plastic people. I cannot tell you how inconsiderate they are. I come to pick up Avery and they are standing in front of the door, at the reception desk, you name it. They act like they are the only people in the universe. They are your typical rich villains. Here's the thing, everyone wants to pick their kid up, not just you. So move your rich, snobby, white rumps out of the front of the freakin' door already. Gesh!
4. Gymboree - So Gymboree sucks me in with coupons, cute clothes, and Gym Bucks. Gym Bucks are a "future" discount on a predefined time frame. I had $25 in Gym Bucks. I drove Avery all the way to Winston on a Saturday and I couldn't find $50 worth of things to buy to use my $25 in Gym Bucks. It sucked. Plus, Gymboree is full of the aformentioned White, Entitled, Snobs. Gymboree, you are dead to me!
5. Target - What's up Target. You advertise this incredible deal on the Wii Fit which I have promised my dad for his birthday and then you don't have it, and I can't get a rain check? Not nice Target. Not nice. Watch you don't make the "Dead to Me List". Jimmy John's and Gymboree are getting mighty lonely.
6. Something The President said - Equal pay for equal work. What a theory. I hope this is a ball he can run with! I would like to be able to afford a stay at home husband.
   
7. The movie Valentine's Day - What a cast! I want to see it. I won't, but I want to.
8. Vomit - I am pretty sure Greg and I had the Noro Virus. It sucked. We puked. We puked a lot. It hurt. Chewed food should not come out your nose. EVER!
9. Time - There is never enough and it moves too fast. Avery is almost 1. What the what?
10. Excitement - Ginger and Christopher bought a new house, and I haven't even had a chance to chat with Ginger about it. I am so tickled for them, but I am sure she has no idea. I have been so swamped that I have not communicated this emotion at all.
11. Hand Me Downs - I went through the Avery had me down boxes and my little guy is rocking a whole new wardrobe. I love me some hand-me-downs.
12. Babies'r us - I need a coupon. If anyone sees one before Valentine's Day please share. I am hoping for a 20% off one!
    
13. Moe's - I love Moe's. Moe's is my most favorite burrito joint. Welcome to Moe's indeed! I will eat Q'Doba or Chipolte, but I love Moe's!
14. Haircut - My haircut is so overdue and I want to try and look more presentable. I must schedule a haircut soon.
15. Lindsey - Lindsey Y. is one of the funniest, most unique people, I have ever met in my life. On a daily basis Lindsey makes one of two things happen: snot comes out of my nose accidentally because I am laughing so hard, or I pee my pants a little because I see her before I make it to the bathroom and she says something hysterical.
16. Bathroom Etiquette - There is a lady at my work who doesn't wash her hands after she uses the bathroom. This amazes me. Yuck freak! Yuck! While we are on this subject, if you need to blow up the bathroom in the middle of the day, please go to another floor. That's what I do!
17. I've missed you blog. Life really is full of things to blog about.
    

Weirdness and More Weirdness

Do you ever stand around and just listen to other people's conversations and think, "really?" It happens to me all of the time.

Lindsey and I walked up to Quizno's to grab a bit-o-nourishment today. Before I dive in, let me give you a couple of random updates. First, it was cold. Like Well Digger's Butt cold. I personally have never touched a Well Digger's Butt, but according to my dad's catch phrase dictionary, they are pretty freakin' cold. Lindsey popped her collar up Elvis style and instead of looking ridiculous, she looked uber cute. I, quite to the contrary, just looked cold. I considered turning back COLD, but I didn't want to seem like a quitter and Lindsey was keeping me entertained as she is SUPER funny. Anyhow, I thought I might die, but we made it. On the walk back Lindsey talked about how she needed a hat. I quietly thought, yeah, a hat would be nice. I have a hat, but it is at home on my kitchen table. I swear to you, my bones were hurting. I sit down at my desk and realize that my coat has a hood. WHAT THE WHAT? Really? I just about froze my ears off and the whole time there was a hood piled up on my back. Gesh, I really do get dumber every day.

Any who, back to the point. While Lindsey was getting our Free drinks (thanks the to Coupons4Winston website), I was paying. When I walked over to where Lindsey was I noticed she was being really still. You know the still, like I see a snake or a bear or maybe a roach, but I don't want to acknowledge it, still. Of course, I start talking to her and she gives me the shut the freak up gritted teeth stare. It is then that I tune in to the conversation going on behind us. This guy is talking about finding Jesus in a meteor storm in the dark on a concrete basketball court. Now look, I have no problem with finding Jesus, but this guy was telling a story that made me feel like any old second he was going to offer me a cup of Kool-Aid, and I was not interested at all. Lindsey, on the other hand, was transfixed which got me totally tickled. Had I lost it and started giggling, I am pretty sure this dude would have pulled a snake out of his pocket and tried to heal me. You really had to be there, but dang it was funny, and for once it was awesome to have a witness along. Generally this strange crap only happens when I have not a witness one.

On a related, but different note, I have really started noticing signs more and more. All through Christmas the Aunt Beas in Pilot had this sign up:

Merry
Christmas Ham Plate
$4.99

I can't even count the number of times that Greg and I said "Merry Christmas Ham Plate" during the holidays. I hope it was also Happy for Ham Plate and his/her family. It also said Merry Christmas Chicken Biscuit for a hot minute. It didn't have the same ring!

That's two rounds of weirdness, but I have one more. Today at lunch my boss' boss was walking around asking if anyone had a can opener. Good old Super Dave knew where one was. The next thing I see is Peter (boss' boss) on his way to the kitchen, open can in hand. The suspense was killing me, so I say, "whatcha eatin?" To which he replies, "green beans". Really, you are eating a can of Lowe's Foods brand green beans for lunch? Is it just me or is that totally random. This man stands out in the freezing cold to smoke, and this is his lunch? Wow!

Happy New Year to You!

For the gifts brought in 2009 I am thankful, for the losses I am wrought with sadness, for the memories, opportunities, and lessons learned I am indebted.

I wish for you the same wish I write in every birthday card: May 2010 be immeasurably greater than 2009, but not nearly as great as 2011. Celebrate what you have, strive for what you want, and really question if the stuff in the middle is really all that important.

Happy New Year!!

Greg and Avery New Year's Eve 2009

Teaser

It sounds cheesy, but this really was the best Christmas ever. I don't have time to give the details, but I promise I will. So many presents, so many moments, so many memories. We really have been missing out, but I am so glad we waited. How lucky are we to have just had all of the firsts when so many people our age are done or have been done for years.

Just a few shots to keep you coming back for more!

My Sweet Boys

I love this SMILE

Did you say his belly shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly?

Does this shirt make me look fat? Is it velvet?